every day i look at the sink and i’m like seriously? honest to god i have used dishes once again?
this post is not for people frustrated by ppl putting dishes in their communal sink bc “oh i would NEVER leave a dish in the sink.” fuck off you already have your life together you don’t need this post. this is for the slimes and losers whose sinks are filled with the dishes of their own creation. this is for the lazy women, the useless men, the pathetic enbies. get out of here you sparkling clean dished heathens
These other assholes: Oh I hate leaving a mess. Cleaning up actually helps me unwind!
My ADHD executive-dysfunctional fuckin goblin self: I have to perform a TASK? But I just performed a task YESTERDAY!
Some people simply do not understand the profoundly Sisyphean torment that is cleaning things.
Dishes.
Clothes.
House.
Self.
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU DO IT, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. DOPAMINE PAYOFF IS ZERO, THE TASK IS NEVER COMPLETED AND YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO STOP DOING IT EVER IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing
what the hell
This makes me really chuffed
This post is quite egregious
Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.
goddamnit.
all of you go to hell
And you wonder why i am boggled at times
These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.
Why the fuck do these exist
One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition.
Are you telling me that we were such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language.
Literally is another example now.
There are 21 languages that have Contronyms/Contranyms.
English has 128 contranyms, almost 5 times that of language with the next highest number of contronyms (Arabic with 26) and more than the total number of crontranyms of every other language combined (89).
a person sitting at a table is talking into the camera.
“i have nothing to hide… which is a shame, because i love hiding stuff! i love making or buying secret hiding spaces.”
they pick up a leather wrapped book.
“so like, i love hollowing out books. and you now, people- you could say, well probably you would hide drugs in there. well, i don’t do drugs”
they open the book to reveal a green pill bottle hidden in a cut out space in the pages
“but i do take flonase for my seasonal allergies, so i put those in this one, because it kinda feels like taking drugs. but my whole apartment is filled with stuff like this.”
the camera cuts to the view of a permanent maker on a table.
“like this perfectly normal permanent marker.”
they take off the cap of the marker, and put it back on.
“well, it’s actually hollow and on the inside is…”
they take off the back of the marker to reveal a small pink marker inside.
“a smaller permanent marker!”
the camera cuts to a bookshelf. they remove a book from the shelf.
“now this obviously is a copy of inside baseball, which is a perfect place, i figured out to hide-”
they open the book to reveal a miniature baseball in a cut out space in the pages.
“-my tiny baseball”
the camera cuts to a storage shelf. they retrieve a giant bolt from the shelf.
“this is a normal looking giant bolt that i just keep in my closet.”
the camera cuts to a close-up of the bolt. they are screwing off a part of the bolt.
“you can screw off the bottom, and you can fit a tiny vial in there, which is perfect for…”
they tip the bolt over and a small vial containing white pills falls out.
“-that’s my claritin. that’s my other allergy medicine.”
the camera cuts to a framed print of the great wave painting.
“there is nothing cooler than a wall save behind framed art. and i’m not allowed to poke holes into my wall, because it’s a rental.”
they move the painting to the side to reveal a wall safe behind it.
“but this is a picture of a wall safe! which is almost as good.”
they fiddle with the wall safe, demonstrating that it is just a cut out picture pasted to the wall.
“since i wouldn’t have anything to put in the wall safe anyway!”
the camera cuts to a fridge, just as the door is being opened.
“in the fridge i’ve got a totally normal looking doctor pepper.”
they retrieve a can of doctor pepper from the fridge. the camera cuts to a close-up of the can.
“but of course the top screws off, and inside that is my benadryl! or bennies.”
they screw open the top of the can and shake some pink pills from the can into the palm of their hand.
“these are for my night time allergies!”
the camera cuts to the boot of a car that is being opened.
“back of my car”
the camera cuts to a bin in the boot of the car. they remove a can of tire foam from the bin.
“looks like tire foam.”
they unscrew the bottom of the can and pull out a yellow pill bottle.
“this is where i store my dramamine! which is kinda like i’m allergic to motion too!”
the camera cuts to four copies of shakespeare plays next to each other on a bookshelf.
“and this looks like it’s just four shakespeare b-sides together, but if you pull out the bottom-”
they remove all four books at once and turn them over to reveal a hole that is cut through all four books, containing a can, which they pull out.
“there is actually a can of peaches”
they flip over the can to reveal a handle at the bottom
“but the can of peaches is fake, and inside is a rock!”
they open the fake bottom and retrieve a rock from the can.
“but that rock is fake”
they turn the rock over and slide off a cover to reveal a key.
“it’s a hide-a-key! and that key-”
they remove a dictionary from the bookshelf.
“is perfect for opening the dictionary!”
they open the dictionary to reveal a keyhole.
“which is secretly a metal safe. and inside that i put-”
they unlock and open the safe to reveal several filled ziplock bags, removing one after another.
“the doctor pepper! and the tire foam! and the pages from the shakespeare books! and the peaches!”
they hold up the ziplock bag of peach slices to the camera.
In case you don’t follow me on twitter, I’ve redone my old 2019 wedding art for the happy happy couple and their sweet little girl. A lot has changed in a year but my art has as well and I’m happy for it. I still love these lovebirds and their gross sappy life. (and if you’re wondering is that a raven feather in Vesper and Vex’s hair? Yes. Yes it is.)
Reblogs are greatly appreciated but what I really want is your thoughts and feelings in the tags! Yell at me! I love that so much!!
I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he’s ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he’ll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like “see how I take care of you Owen?” and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, “Geez Wes look at this,” and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, “I see you finally found my secret, Owen,” and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he’s fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) “We both know this can’t get out, right?” and he’ll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson’s cheeks but he can’t say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, “look, I’ll drive you to the airport, huh?” and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it’s futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, “I’ll miss working with you” and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson’s Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames
I am but a gentle earthworm nuzzling my way in the dirt called life. 21. Several layers into the done cake. My puns are ♭. Random bouts of content usually surrounding a certain subject. Every season is Spoopy Season. Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
🚫🗻🚫
_The above quote is from my favorite movie, "Stay". It will ALWAYS get better - just make sure you're here to enjoy it. Trust me. You are loved, and you are not alone ❤
